Mission Melancholy

Adam is leaving Tuesday for a training mission for close to two weeks. While this isn’t our first time going through him being away from me, and not even our first as a married couple, it’s our first time while we’re living together. It’s my first time going through it without a support system within driving distance. I am freaking out just a smidge. **I will be using guys/men/troops in this article, but I do know and acknowledge all of the females in the military.**

action aim armed army

I want to cover really quick, the difference between a Training Mission and a Deployment. A training mission is just that… training. Higher-up’s take those on the mission out to get them ready for deployment. These missions are set in place to help the guys experience any possible outcomes of them going on deployment. I can’t tell you what happens on these training missions, but I do know that they’re a lot safer in these training missions than on deployment. See, these training missions offer a certain level of security to any situations that the men might face when they’re out in the real world. There are people on standby to help and assist if anything were to go wrong. So I feel much better about Adam going on a training mission than going on deployment. Side note: I’ll talk about deployments when get to that bridge. But he and I aren’t there yet, so I don’t want to face up to the difficulties that may happen, yet.

brown and white bear plush toy

The fact that I know that he’s going to be much safer gives me the chance to not have to worry so much. It also gives me a little chance to be vain in wondering, “what’s going to happen to me while you’re gone?” I’m new to this country. I’m not good at driving yet (I wasn’t even that good back when I was in the states). I don’t have many friends. I don’t know the area yet. All of these factors make me feel much better about staying inside and being with my laptop and Spotify, but I know that I’m going to have to go out and drive and do things. Going grocery shopping, buying clothes, checking the PO box… all of these things are things that I’ve done with Adam, but having to do it on my own is going to be rough. Also, doing things that I haven’t done, like paying rent. I’m probably going to have to do that while he’s on this mission. I don’t know how to. I don’t even have a bank card yet! There’s always the possibility that I could get really sick after eating something bad or get into a car wreck. I don’t know the insurance for the car. I don’t know who I would call if something were to happen to me. I’m absolutely terrified.

focus photo of super mario luigi and yoshi figurines

So what am I going to do? For starters, I’m going to make sure that I have a friend who is willing to help me get through life. Her name is M and I adore this human. Her husband is best friends with Adam which means that she and I hang out a lot together. As much as she’s going to be a support system for me while Adam does this brief training, I’m going to have to be there for her soon because J, her husband, is leaving for deployment in just a few weeks. She’s definitely adopted me though, and I really appreciate her love. I also have to trust myself that I’ll be ok. This means being cautious when I’m driving, and being sure to stay away from anything that might get me really sick. This means living vicariously through others (but I do that anyway, so it’s not much of a change).

man in camouflage suit holding shotgun

This training mission is just as much for me as it is for him. It gives me the opportunity to practice for that inevitable deployment that we will face. It gives me the chance to practice being on my own, making my own decisions, and trusting myself in the fact that I will be just fine. This is my training mission too, and just like him, I know that I’m going to be alright.

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