New Year, New Start, New Me

New Goals.

That’s what the changing of the years is all about… right? For some people, it’s finally getting to the gym. But they’ll give up after three weeks because they didn’t plan right, and don’t know how to stay on top of their schedule. For others, it’s finding the perfect soulmate… for the fourth year in a row. The last guy? Well, he wasn’t tall enough.

See, for me, a New Years Resolution should be more of a mentality thing. Less about losing 45 pounds or whatever, but to make a commitment to yourself that you’ll do your best to lose that weight. I’d rather make a promise to myself that I know that I will do my best to keep than to make a resolution that’s going to fly out of the window when I hit my snooze button for the up-teenth time in the morning.

Here are my 5 New Years Goals for 2019:

Love Myself

photo of woman looking at the mirror

This has been my top priority resolution for a few years now, and frankly, it’s worked. More smiles, fewer tears. Granted, that’s not all that I mean when I say that I want to love myself. I want to be able to look in a mirror and appreciate what I’ve got without wanting to change it all. If you could see the change in me from just two years ago to now, you’d be just as impressed as I am. I don’t want to vomit when I say that I’m pretty. I don’t laugh when saying it, because it no longer feels like a lie. Now I’m onto detail work- like with my acne, or my IBS that causes my stomach to stick out. These are really little things, and it’s just something that I need to work on.

 

Be A Better Me

woman in black tank top

This one has to be the most ambiguous of all of my goals this year. After all, it could mean anything. But considering what I already know about myself, this actually shouldn’t be too hard. Easier said than done, though.

To be a better “me” has a lot to do with my physical body. I want to eat better this year- less crappy food, and more fruits and veggies. I actually already have a nutritionist at hand to help me with that. I also want to work out and get in shape. Because while I am thin, that doesn’t mean that I’m healthy. Especially now that I’m not riding horses all of the time, I’ve lost all of my muscle mass. While I want to bulk up some, I also want to be more flexible- yoga! Maybe I’ll document my yogi-journey here. Last but not least, I need to get better at brushing my teeth and flossing. I hate the sound that a toothbrush makes, the way it feels, and the taste of it. I need to get over the ‘gross’ factor that I have linked to the sound of bristles on my teeth. Dang, I’m getting the shivers just writing about it. Ew.

I know what you’re thinking: “Erika, doesn’t this contradict your first resolution?” Yes. Yes it does. But I’m not changing my body and my habits because I dislike what I see in a mirror. I’m changing my habits because of the people around me. None of my blood relatives are healthy- diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, heart disease, alcoholism. I want to change myself so that I stay as far away from all of the health risks that my genes impose on me.

 

Relax

adult book boring face

Anxiety. I know people always say, “Oh! Just don’t be anxious!” when around someone who has anxiety. First off… IT DOESN’T HELP. IT MAKES IT WORSE. Now, I used to take medication for my anxiety, but it made my depression really bad because I always thought that you had to be crazy to take pills to make yourself better. Obviously, that’s not true. But it still makes my depression awful when I think about getting back on medication for my mental illness. This year, I’m going to work on making myself relax. Yoga, working out, eating better, accepting who I am. We will discuss medications later if it’s something that I really think I need.

 

Read More

adult blur books close up

I used to be the biggest reader of all time. I still love my books. I’m probably creeping up onto a collection of 300 by now. But a couple of years ago, when my depression hit me really hard, it took me out of the reading game. I still read, I do! But now I’m reading more books on Wattpad, than physical copies. I want to get away from screens. Less phone time, no more books online, and I really need to fall in love with the library again. I used to spend every lunch in the library that I could. My meal on one knee, a book on the other. Reading as has always been an escape for me, and I think that I need to get back to my roots if I’m going to feel more relaxed and happy in life. Book suggestions? I like Y/A, fantasy, and I’m going to try to get into horror.

 

Make More/New Friends

photo of a toast

This one… this one might be the most important out of all of my resolutions this year. I am moving to a new country soon, with my newlywed husband, and I will only have him for company. So I need to get out of my shell and into the world. I know that he has a few work buddies whose wives have said that they’ll take me under their wing, so at least I’ve got a start. But I’d also like friends that I can talk freely with about horses, books, my love life. I hope that these women can make that happen for me, because as much as I like talking online, I need real friends who can give me a hug. Because let’s face it… computers are a little stiff when you try to give them a hug.

 

 

New Years Resolutions are the hardest goal to meet, but I’ve done well in the past. What are your goals this year? Do you want to finally publish the book that you’ve been writing? Or do you want to finally learn how to fly? They all seem impossible, but you just need a little dedication.

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